Patrick M. Noe, Jr., Attorney at Law
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Divorce is nothing personal

One common mistake in contentious divorces in New York that help set the tone and pace of the process is making it personal. It is not easy to sever feelings and memories created throughout a relationship, especially if there are children, pets, businesses and real estate involved. 

The time for making emotionally driven decisions and dealing with unresolved feelings is not at the divorce table. To overcome hot issues that could cause a stalemate or raise unexpected reactions, it is a good idea to treat everything as a business transaction. People make and break promises all the time. Even if the decision to end the relationship is a mutual one, not everyone reacts to the circumstances the same way. Here are some tips to help prevent emotionally driven decisions in divorce. 

Keep it civil 

Divorce is full of emotional triggers that can make it challenging to make practical decisions. It is essential for anyone dealing with divorce matters to seek out personal and professional support to stay on track towards their settlement goals. Potential divorcees should avoid negotiating and making decisions based on negative feelings. Regardless of their POV on matters, they should treat each other with respect and work toward a fair outcome for all impacted by their decisions. 

Deal with feelings properly 

Everyone deals with breakups differently. Some people submerge themselves in work, celebrate, party, jump back in the dating scene or end up suffering from the effects of not properly managing emotions. Allowing for sufficient time to grieve the relationship and adjust is beneficial. 

Embrace the change 

Divorce is a transition that requires separating couples to leave their comfort zones and make changes that are not always welcome. It is time to establish legal ownership of marital property and establish rules and resources in terms of the kids, pets and other items to improve the outcome.

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