Don’t use divorce as a threat

Thoughts of divorce are not uncommon. They often come up when two people have an argument or a disagreement. One or both start thinking about what it would be like to end the marriage and have the freedom to do whatever they want — thereby “winning” the argument.

This happens to people at all stages in a marriage. Sometimes, it really does lead to divorce. Other times, it does not.

However, if you take that next step and bring it up with your spouse — stating your thoughts out loud — you want to make sure you really mean it. Don’t just use it as a threat. Only say it if it is something you are actually considering and that you’re serious about.

Things change when you mention divorce. It’s a bridge you cannot cross twice. You’ll never take it back once you say it. As such, you only want to say it when it’s an outcome you’re open to.

In many cases, this means not bringing it up during the argument at all. Don’t let it be an emotional decision. Take some time to step back from the argument, calm down and consider all of your options. If you decide then that divorce is something you actually want, that’s when you can bring it up in a calmer and more serious setting with your spouse.

Do you think you do want to get divorced and move on from your marriage? If so, make sure you are well aware of all of the legal steps that you and your spouse need to take.